Remembering
by slam a revolving door
Summary: [The Little Mermaid modern][complete] “I’ve never experienced true romantic love, Chris. I’ve never seen it, and I’ve never witnessed it. And what’s more, I never will.” Life is starting to hold so much more promise for Abby. And then it blows apart.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own fairytales.

Chapter 1

Look. Right from the start, I want to get this clear. I don't want you to run off with some impression of me that is completely and utterly false. I am not – NOT – in any way pretty. At all. I am what most people would call plain. And that's okay with me.

Now that we've got that sorted out. I should probably introduce myself too. My name is Abigail – Abby. I amseventeen years old, and a complete social moth. As in opposite to a butterfly. You know, one who sits in dark corners? Yeah, that's me.

Formalities done with, I should probably get on with the actual story part of my story. Just bear with me. I've done some things I completely regret now… but some things were beyond my control. Please bear that in mind before you judge me. I just need to tell someone – write all this down – so someone will understand after I'm gone. After I'm gone, you can judge me all you like. I won't be there any longer.

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The library is quiet. I like it that way. Completely engrossed in my book, I slump down in my beanbag. I am not visible from the door.

I hear someone enter. Instinctively I squeeze myself into the corner. Peering between the shelves, I see a young man, about twenty or so, sitting down at a table. What is he doing here? He is athletically built; his golden brown hair is rumpled and tousled. As I watch he bangs his head against the table in complete frustration. I smile and stand up. Frustration is something I can understand.

As I emerge from behind the shelves, the young man jumps. His sea green eyes widen is surprise.

"I'm sorry." He says. "I wasn't aware that anyone was there." I make no noise, but instead slip into a chair next to him.

"You look frustrated." I smile. "Do you need help?" Forward of me, yes – but there was something about him that made me feel that I could relate to him.

It was foolish of me to trust him.

He looks at me, taking in my unfashionableness, no doubt.

"Sure." He holds out his hand. "My name's Jeremy."

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So there we start. The first mistake I made is in that little section of my life. "…_there was something about him that made me feel that I could relate to him." _Already I felt that strange connection. The connection that was never really there.

No. I'm deceiving myself. It was there. I felt it. He felt it. But in the end he chose to ignore it.

Why am I crying?

Tears won't wash the dead from the grave.

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Jeremy and I became friends. We never saw each other outside the library, but those library sessions were enough. I knew I was falling for him – yet I never acknowledged it.

What I saw in him was all I needed to know. I liked what I saw there. I saw man leaving his boyhood and beginning to live life the way he knew was best. What he saw in me, I really cannot say. I just know that he saw enough in me, to want to continue our little library sessions.

He wasn't dumb. He just needed that extra focus. And that's what I gave to him. He would talk to me about anything and everything. I knew everything about his life. I knew him even better than I knew myself.

Why did I get so involved in his life? I don't know. All I could see was that I was gradually slipping away from my end of my life spectrum and into his.

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One day, after one afternoon spent in the library, I return home. Pulling out my key I walk in the front door.

"Abigail." My father.

"Dad."

"Where have you been?"

"Oh, so you've suddenly gotten guilty and have decided to do your impression of an over-protective father?" Ouch. His hand lands on my face. I suppose I shouldn't have been so obnoxious. But an afternoon with Jeremy can do that to me. I feel so free that I get reckless.

And then I have to come back to Earth. Fun fun…

"Where have you been?" He asks again through gritted teeth; his hand is still raised. I cower. I am a coward; I know it.

"At the library with Jeremy." I whisper, afraid of his reaction. Slowly he lowers his hand.

"You're spending a lot of time with the boy." He says suspiciously. "And too much time in that library."

"I like the library." I say defensively. "And I like Jeremy."

Again, my cheek burns red-hot. He lowers his hand again.

"I forbid you to see him again. Do you hear me?"

"I hear you." _But I won't necessarily comply._

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I don't comply. How can I? Jeremy is all the stability I have ever known. He has taught me so much, and I'm so grateful to him.

So the next morning as usual, I go to the library.

A/N: You guys try guess which fairytale this is based on? Me like reviews please?


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own the concept of fairytales

A/N: This chapter is dedicated to my **only** reviewer, **embracing.**

Chapter 2

"Jeremy." I whisper into his ear. He jumps in surprise.

"Don't _do_ that!" He mock-growls, pretending to slap my hand away from his shoulder. I laugh and collapse into the seat next to him.

"How are you?" I ask him, keeping my face turned away from him under the pretext of looking in my bag for books.

"I'm fine. And yourself?"

"Good…good…" I murmur. Jeremy looks at me.

"What's the matter?" This guy is way too smart for his own good. S-M-R-T.

"Nothing. " He places his hand under my chin and turns my face towards him. I cast my eyes downwards.

"Who did this to you?" He asks horrified.

"What?" I pretend not to understand. He glares at me.

"You know perfectly well what." What am I supposed to say? My father was feeling particularly violent last night and decided to hit me?

"I… fell off my bike." Lame, I know. "Please don't worry about me. I'm fine."

He casts me a suspicious look.

"You and I both know that I do not, for one moment, believe you."

I nod.

"But you're going to let it rest anyway," I cast him a cheeky grin."

He rolls his eyes.

"Only for now." Jeremy tells me, a warning note in his voice.

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We walk out of the library together. Jeremy glances sideways at me.

"Do you want to go to the park first?"

Anything. Anything to delay getting home.

"Sure."

We sit down under a tree. It starts to rain. Jeremy stays under the tree, sheltering from the first drops of rain. I spring to my feet delightedly and dash out into the gathering storm.

I whirl and spin and spread my arms out.

"Get back in here!" Jeremy calls. I ignore him and continue spinning. The water splashes all over me, soaking my clothes and my hair. My hair plasters to my forehead. Jeremy calls out to me.

"You look like a girl in love in a cheesy movie!" I look at him and stop spinning.

"I am." I tell him. "I love the rain. It reminds me of my mum… My mum is crying for me."

"You want your mother to cry for you?"

"Tears… of joy… tears of sorrow… each a delicate gift from Mother…"

Jeremy gets up and pulls me back into the shelter of the tree.

"You twit." He says affectionately.

"Mum's dead." I say quietly. "But she loved the rain."

"I'm sorry." He looks helpless.

"Don't be." I smile. "She wouldn't have wanted to stay."

Jeremy draws me into a hug. I cling to him, and allow myself, for the first time since Mother's death, to cry. He strokes my hair.

"Don't cry…" He whispers. I pull away.

"She's gone… and I'm happy. What type of daughter am I?"

"The type who didn't want to see her hurt any longer."

I sit down on the wet grass. After little hesitation, Jeremy follows suit.

"It's better this way." I say, wiping my eyes.

"You don't have to be so brave all the time." He whispers.

"Oh, but I do." I look back out into the rain. "This is the only thing that reminds me of mother."

Jeremy comes closer.

"She wouldn't have wanted you to suffer."

"I don't suffer."

He looks at me as I lower my gaze.

"Don't you?"

I can't help it. I raise my eyes to meet his. Bad move.

"I don't…" I whisper. It is all I have time for as he leans down to kiss me.

**A/N: PLEASE REVIEW! **


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own the concept of fairytales; neither do I own the fairytale this is based on. WHICH NO ONE HAS GUESSED! MWAHAHAHAHAAH

A/N: Thank you for all the lovely reviews! I love you guys!

Chapter 3

I draw away from Jeremy to catch my breath. He looks back at me, a slightly surprised look on his face. There is a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He reaches out and runs a hand through my hair. He draws nearer, and I close my eyes.

"Abigail." My eyes flick open and I spin around. Informer alert! Informer alert!

"D…dad." I move further away from Jeremy. He has a guilty look on his face.

"Mr. Grant…" He stammers.

Dad ignores him.

"Abigail." He says again. I walk slowly and hesitantly towards him. "We are going home now." I move away without protest. Jeremy calls out to me, and I chance a glance back at him once. He is still standing there in the rain. Sopping wet.

I make no noise, and I don't cry out as Dad begins to hit me. His yells penetrate my ears, but don't make it to my brain. I can guess what he is saying anyway. Probably something along the lines of: "_You swearword swearword! I brought you up and you swearword decide to go off with a swearword boy like a swearword swearword!" _

And so on.

He catches me off-guard, and this blow knocks me to the ground. He kicks me viciously as I cower there – too afraid to move; too afraid to get up.

He yells some more, and brandishes his pocketknife at me. Seriously, those things should be banned. I can hear his mates yelling for him drunkenly outside. _Go…please go…_ I implore.

I can see him losing interest in me. With a few more half-hearted kicks and slaps he turns and leaves. I lie on the ground for a while, then struggle to my feet.

Tissues in the kitchen… As I walk past the mirror, I refuse to look. I know what I will see anyway. A stranger. A complete and utter stranger.

I won't look. I won't look.

I look.

Transfixed, I stare at my reflection. The face is bruised and battered. Instead of looking like a tragic heroine (I wish) I look like a villain.

I look away.

I know what I must do. I rush to my room, and grab a knapsack. I stuff a couple of items in it, then rush out the door. I cannot stay any longer. I've stayed my time.

It's time to move on.

I look down the long grey street. I've been here once… before Mother died. I push those thoughts away.

I think it's this one. I stare at it. It looks exactly how I remembered it. A cheery normal looking house… a dog jumping by the fence, trying to get over…

I walk tentatively up the path and knock on the door. After a while, it opens. I stand there staring at her.

She is exactly what she was all those years ago. Her long auburn hair is braided in one long braid down her back and her clear grey eyes search my own. Finally she seems to accept what she sees and reaches her hand out to me.

"Abby?" She asks incredulously. I picture what she is seeing.

A skinny teenager with long dark blonde hair standing outside her door. The girl's grey eyes are dark and possibly shifty. The girl is bruised and bloodied. She says not a single word.

Mm… a pretty scary picture. No wonder she's incredulous.

"Lucy." I reply. Lucy's face lights up.

"Abby!" She pulls me to her in a warm hug. "Abby!" Her husband, Chris, hurries to the door.

"Who's that, honey?"

_Honey. _The word hits me hard. Almost as hard as Dad did. Dad used to call Mother honey. Before he lost his job. Before he started drinking. Before…

I pull away. I can see Chris standing in the dim light of the hallway.

"Hi Chris." I say. His jaw drops.

"Abby!"

"It's me." I smile wanly. Lucy pulls me into the light to examine my face.

"Dad did this, didn't he?" She demands to know. I shrug.

"Nothing much you can do about it… except let me stay with you?"

Lucy opens her mouth to answer, then shuts it again. She glances over at Chris. Of course. It's not just her house, the way it was before she got married. It's Chris' too. And the children's. My nieces and nephews. I can't wait to see them again… just not like this.

"Of course." Chris answers. We have always gotten along, Chris and I. "Welcome to my family, Abby,"

I smile, and impulsively hug him.

"Thank you." I whisper. "Thank you."

**A/N: Virtual chocolate pudding to anyone who reviews?**


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own fairytales. So don't sue me.

**Chapter 4**

I sit in the class, my eyes firmly on my own books. I have never liked going to new schools, but Lucy insisted it was best Dad didn't know which school I went to. The class chatter surges and ebbs around me. Someone comes to stand in front of me.

"Abby?" I hear them say incredulously. I look slowly up. My books go flying off my desk.

"Jeremy!" I exclaim, scrabbling to retrieve my books. Yes, I'm pathetic. He smiles at me, and bends down to retrieve my books for me. My heart fluttering, I smile back at him.

"Thank you."

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"How do you know Jeremy Sadler?" Christine, my "buddy', asks me.

"We met… a while back. We're friends." I say quietly.

"I think he likes you!" Christine exclaims. I turn to face her.

"Christine, tell me about him."

"He's cute and popular and every girl in the school loves him."

Christine flares red, as I look up into Jeremy's eyes. They are so intense, and for a moment I cannot read the expression in his eyes.

"Hi Jeremy." I say shyly. Why am I feeling shy? I have never felt shy around Jeremy before! His eyes twinkle. I know I am blushing. He bends down and whispers in my ear.

"Meet me in the school library after school."

"Sure." I say, regaining my composure. He looks at me, and kisses me. Right there. In front of everyone. Forget about what I said about regaining my composure. My cheeks are pink, but I do not push him away. He is so familiar… almost like a bit of my past. He straightens, and smiles, a little secretive smile.

"See you later." He says casually, pushing his hair from his eyes. I lean against the wall, in shock.

"Just friends, huh?" Christine looks at me.

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"Look, I don't know how much you know about Jeremy Sadler, but he's popular, he's hot and he's loyal. He treats all girls with respect and he's still friends with every one of his ex-girlfriends. Every girl wants to go out with him, but for now, he's available. And he likes you." Christine wiggles her eyebrows at me. I blush.

"We're friends." I protest.

"Oh please. No friend kisses another friend like that. Don't be stupid."

"I'm not. I'm being realistic. If he really is all you say he is, why would he like me?"

Christine stares at me incredulously.

"Abby. You're smart and you're pretty. What more could he want?"

"I'm not pretty. And maybe someone who's like him. Popular. You know…" I look away. Christine grabs my shoulders and makes me look at her.

"Do you like him?"

"I like him."

"Then forget all this stupid thoughts. Twit."

The bell rings.

"I've never experienced true romantic love, Chris. I've never seen it, and I've never witnessed it. And what's more, I never will." I gather my books up.

"Rubbish. Your parents?"

"I never saw my father love my mother." It's true. He would get drunk and beat us all up. Never once did I see him say that he loved her – or any of us for that matter. Mother loved us. That was the only thing that kept her going.

Christine is about to reply when I cut her off.

"Let's go. We'll be late for class."

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I walk over to the library, and pull open the doors. I have never been inside this library, and the scents of new books fill my head. I breathe in deeply, smiling.

"Boo!" Someone grabs my waist. I jerk and whirl around.

"Jeremy!" He is giving me is most innocent look.

"As if." I tell him, rolling my eyes.

"Want to talk?" He asks me, leading me away to one of the tables.

"Sure. What about?" I ask, in _my_ most innocent manner.

"Why you're so scared of your father? Why he doesn't approve of me?"

"Firstly, you'd be scared of my father too. Secondly, he doesn't even know you."

"That's not an explanation, Abby." He looks at me. "Come on, out with it."

At this point of time I could tell him everything. _"…he's loyal. He treats all girls with respect…" _Christine's words echo through my mind. It's not an issue of whether I trust Jeremy or not. Because I do. But then I think back to my father. The times when I was young and he wasn't drunk – which wasn't often. I remember him being a real father. I remember loving him. I still love him. I remember his history. I remember how he lost his job. All these memories cluttering up my head. Then I remember Mother. I remember how she kept loving him – how she never told anyone. Lucy never told anyone either. She remembers way back before I was born. Before he lost his job. Before he took to drinking. She remembers the sober, loving person he was.

Am I about to betray my father to an almost complete stranger?

"I cannot." I say with a finality that is almost overwhelming.

**A/N: I hereby present virtual chocolate pudding to embracing… and Becca (thank you. You sound like someone who understands. Thanks for the tips… and the fairytale is in the summary as from now.)**

**Mango pudding for reviewers!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own the concept of fairytales – sorry to disappoint.**

**Chapter 5**

Jeremy draws back.

"All right then…" He breathes. "All right then…" He twists a corner of his shirt round and round… "I'm not going to force you to tell me anything." Jeremy looks up carefully at me. "But… you have to understand… we cannot form a relationship on lies."

I smile.

"What time of relationship is that, anyway?"

"What sort of question is that?" He protests.

"What sort of answer is that?" I mimic his tone, making him laugh.

"I don't know… more than friendship?" He kisses me. "It takes time, Abby… it takes time."

"I have time…" I laugh. My watch beeps 4 o'clock. "Or maybe not… I have to go – I don't want to worry Lucy and Chris – my sister and brother-in-law." I tell Jeremy.

"You're not staying with your dad?" He asks innocuously. I shake my head, my ponytail bouncing. I hesitate, trying to decide how much to tell him.

"No… Lucy offered to take me in for a while… it's nice to see my nephews and nieces again – I've got two nephews and two nieces – Brittany, Rhiann, Ethan and David." I am babbling, and I know it. Jeremy puts a finger to my lips.

"It's okay, you don't have to tell me anything."

I take deep breaths.

"Thank you." I whisper.

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Jeremy walks out with me.

"Taking the bus?" I ask him.

"Yes… Dad offered to pick me up, but…" A car beeps its horn.

"Is that your Dad?" I gesture casually to the car on the side of the road. Jeremy peers at it.

"No, unless he's gotten a new car… and besides, there's a woman in there." I look more closely this time.

"Oh! It's Lucy!"

Jeremy laughs and waves to Lucy.

"Alright then." He pecks me chastely on the cheek. "Bye… see you tomorrow." I blush and wave.

"See you."

I get in the car. Lucy peers at me through the rear-view mirror and wiggles her eyebrows.

"Who was that?"

"Jeremy." I say, blushing furiously. "You didn't have to pick me up."

"Oh yes I did… especially if it mean I get to see all your latest boyfriends – you didn't waste time, did you?"

"Lucy! Firstly, Jeremy is not my boyfriend, and secondly I've known him for ages."

"Ages?" She starts the car.

"Well… a month."

"Ah. Right. Ages." Lucy laughs and starts driving. I relax into the seat. This is what I've been missing – my family.

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I sit at the desk, trying to do my homework. There is a knock at the door, and I swivel my chair around.

"Come in!"

Brittany pokes her mass of auburn curls around the door.

"Are you busy, Abby?" She asks.

"It's okay, come in." I replied cheerfully.

Brittany giggles and comes running in to sit on my bed.

"I'm four this year." She announces proudly. I kneel down beside her.

"Really? You're a big girl, then aren't you?"

She nods and giggles.

"Rhi wants to come in too." She tells me. "But she's too shy – she's hiding around the door."

"Shall I go get her?" I ask Brittany seriously. She nods at me gravely. Fighting back the urge to laugh, I walk to the door and looks around it.

Sure enough there is three-year old Rhiann, settled wide-eyed in the corner, sucking her thumb. I lean down and pick her up, tousling her blonde hair.

"Who's this hiding?" I ask her. She giggles.

"Me!" Rhiann answers, then hides her face.

"And who is me?" I settle on the bed, Rhiann in my lap, and my other hand around Brittany – just so she doesn't feel left out.

"Rhiann." She says, uncovering her little face long enough to squirm out of my grasp and onto my bed. Brittany pokes me.

"She doesn't talk very much." Brittany tells me, looking serious and mature. "She prefers to eat things."

I laugh. I cannot help myself.

"Ahem." Chris' voice sounds from the doorway. "Are these little rascals bothering you, Abby?" He walks over and starts tickling Brittany, whilst scooping Rhiann up with his other hand.

"No! No Da! We weren't!" Brittany squeals in protest. Chris winks at me.

"It's bedtime. Say goodnight to Abby."

"Night night, Abby!" Brittany throws her little arms around me while Rhiann waves merrily. Chris laughs and detangles Brittany from me.

"Goodnight Abby." He says as he walks out, taking the two children with him.

I stare after them. For a moment I envy them their happiness, then waves of guilt wash over me. Those children deserve happiness. I feel Brittany's little arms around me, Rhiann's weight in my arms… and Jeremy's kiss on my cheek.

"I've been doing too much thinking." I mutter to myself as I lean over and turn off the light, collapsing on the bed.

**A/N: I know it's been a long time! I'm sorry! looks VERY ashamed Anyway, mango pudding to embracing (yes, you are smart, lol), rubydubywaslike (what are you lost about? Maybe I can try to clear up a few things?), hiphop diva (lol, no. I'm going for a completely different adaptation – am still trying to link it though :)), minor (lol, sorry it took so long), BuffyShakespeareAusten (oh the choices!).**

**Thank you all for reviewing! goes around madly hugging all reviewers**

**Anywayz… I offer you all gingerbread men if you review:D**

**Merry Christmas!**

**s.a.r.d.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own TLM, nor do I own Enya lyrics.**

**Chapter 6 **

As I walk into class, heads turn. I slide into my seat uneasily. Christine walks in after me.

"Chris…" I whisper. "What's wrong with everyone?"

She rolls her eyes and looks at me.

"Don't you get it?" She asks. I shake my head. "Everyone's saying you're going out with Jeremy. They're either jealous or intrigued."

"Right." I mutter. "A brilliant combination, no?"

Christine shrugs.

"Jeremy is hot. Remember?"

I look at her innocently.

"No."

* * *

So maybe being with Jeremy wasn't the best of ideas. I have suddenly become the favourite target of his fanclub. Christine has taken it upon herself to accompany me to classes so that they do not do anything worse than fling insults at me. 

"Why are they doing this?" I agonise to Christine over lunch. "I'm not special. Jeremy and I aren't even together!"

"Who says you're not special?" A deep voice sounds above my head. I look up straight into Jeremy's eyes. I can feel my face flaming red.

"Hello Jeremy." Christine smirks across the table at me. He nods and smiles at her, but his eyes remain on me. Sliding into the seat next to me, he speaks.

"So everyone is spreading rumours. Why not give them rumours to spread?"

He leans towards me and kisses me. I close my eyes, relishing his closeness. When we pull apart, I realise that most girls are staring daggers at me, except for Christine, who merely looks amused.

"Hello to you too, Jeremy." I say, fiercely willing my blush to subside. He smiles.

"Hey. Look, I don't mean to interrupt or anything, but if you're done, can we go walk outside?"

Christine smirks at me over the table. I roll my eyes, but smile.

"Sure."

We walk outside together, far away from the busy, chattering crowds and sit in the far corner of the oval.

"You wanted to talk? I ask quietly, because Jeremy's body language tells me that something is up. He hesitates for a moment, then nods. I lean back against the tree. "Go ahead." I rest my head on his shoulder with an easy familiarity that surprises even me. Jeremy is tense for a moment, then relaxes.

"I've been thinking..." He begins.

"Not a good thing to do - rather dangerous, actually." I joke. Jeremy laughs, then continues.

"And...well, I don't think I'm being fair to you." The words come out in a rush, as though he is dying to say them. I lift my head from his shoulder, frowning.

"What?"

Jeremy looks away, embarrassed.

"Well... put it this way. You're obviously not used to this sort of peer aggression that seems to come with being 'with' me. And... well... I don't think I should encourage it... you're so innocent, Abby... you're not ready for this."

I stand up.

"So, basically I'm not mature enough to be 'with' you?" I snap, face red.

"No!" Jeremy takes my hand. "I like you very much, Abby... but... well, you don't tell me anything about you, and you don't seem to want people to know much about you, and trust me, the masses will do as much as they can to dig up the dirt on you."

I bow my head. Jeremy comes up to me and takes my hand.

"Look, I do want to be friends... and maybe more than friends. But you're not ready for it yet. And until you can be..."

"Whatever." I say slowly. I turn away and begin to walk back to the building.

"Friends?" Jeremy calls after me.

"I don't want to ruin your perfect record, so yes."

* * *

"You did _what_?" Christine hisses, astonished. I make no attempt to raise my head from my desk and look at her. "Abby, please don't tell me you broke up with him!"

I make a huge effort to lift my head and look at her.

"I didn't." I say shortly, then drop my head back on the desk. Christine relaxes.

"Good."

"He broke up with me."

Christine grabs my shoulders, sits me up and forces me to look at her.

"How are you?" She asks anxiously.

"Surprisingly not heartbroken." I smile reassuringly back at her. She peers into my eyes.

"Why? Did Jeremy give any reason?"

"He said he didn't know a thing about me, and I didn't want him to." I reply dully. The private study teacher looks at us reprovingly. Christine lowers her voice another notch.

"It's true, actually." She says thoughtfully. "I _don't_ know anything about you. Are your parents still married? What do they do?"

"My mother's dead." I say brusquely, turning away. The bell rings. Fantastic - time to go home. "Bye, see you later!" I exclaim, rushing out of the room. Fortunately, Christine makes no attempt to follow me. She's in the cross-country team; she'd have no problem catching up with me.

* * *

"Luce, I'm going down to the park, alright?" I call to my sister.

"It's raining!" She protests, incredulously. Lucy emerges from the kitchen, wiping her hands on a tea towel: a familiar maternal action... that I haven't seen for a while.

"I know." I reply, rolling my eyes. "That's the point."

She looks at me, uncomprehending for a moment, before understanding lights up in her eyes.

"Oh..." Lucy whispers. "Mother loved the rain."

We stand, staring at each other for a long time, before I realise I am crying and Lucy is too.

"I'm going." I tell her abruptly, pulling on my sneakers and running out of the house.

Splash. Splash. I jump in puddles, wetting the legs of my jeans. I don't really care. Why should I? Mother never did. I dance up and down the road, like a wild, mad being. The rain falls down all around me.

I start singing a song no one has sung in ages - a song Mother used to love.

"Every time...the rain comes down..  
Close my eyes...and listen..  
I can hear the lonesome sound  
Of the sky... as it cries...

Listen to the rain.  
Here it comes again.  
Hear it in the rain...

Feel the touch, of tears that fall...  
They won't fall...forever.  
In the way, the day must flow..  
All things come...all things go..."

I sit on the curb.

"Listen to the rain.  
Here it comes again.  
Hear it in the rain...

Late at night, I drift away,  
I can hear you calling...  
And my name is in the rain...  
Leaves on trees, whispering...  
Deep, blue seas... mysteries...

Even when this moment ends..  
Can't let go... this feeling.  
Every day will come again  
In the sound... falling down..  
Of the sky...as it cries...

Hear my name...  
In the rain..."

As my voice fades away, I can almost swear I can hear a voice calling me.

"_Abby.."_

It _is _a voice!

Calling me!

* * *

**A/N: Yes, so I've _finally_ updated. I'm so sorry for the loooooooooong wait, I was kind of stuck for a bit. :S Anyway, thanks for all the encouraging reviews. Hopefully this will go somewhere now. )**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7 

I spring up from the curb and whirl around. Coming towards me is a figure, damp from the rain. I blink away the droplets of rain coating my vision.

"Father…" I whisper. At this point I should run, I guess. But somehow I cannot. He is my father first and foremost, no matter what he has done to me.

"Abby." He repeats, coming to a stop in front of me. I wince and look at my feet. I cannot look at him. He seems to read my mind. "Look at me, child."

I have to obey that compelling voice. I look up. Father looks presentable enough – strange, that. But his eyes – oh, his eyes! They are the eyes of a desperate man.

"Hello Dad…" I manage. Father looks at me for a long moment.

"Nice rain isn't it. I knew you'd be out somewhere in it." It takes a while for his words to sink in.

"Of course you knew!" I snap, sounding much braver than I feel. "She was your wife too!"

Anger flares in Father's eyes, and he half raises his hand to strike me. I cringe. But a car races by, reminding him that this is a public place. He thinks better of hitting me and lowers his hand. Each movement is a struggle for him.

"Abby." He says again, sounding very business-like. "The point is, I knew you'd be with your sister." I consider making a remark, but desist. "Look, Abigail, you know I'd have to come look for you sometime. You must come home."

"No!" I exclaim. I've been happier here than I've ever been in my entire life – how can he ask me to return? And what is there to return to? His unceasing abuse?

Father sighs – a regretful sound.

"I thought you'd say that." He says. "You can't run forever, Abigail."

"No." I whisper. "But I can hide."

"You have three days." Father holds up three fingers. "Three days in which to prove to me that you have a life out here, where I cannot find you. Three days in which to surrender."

"This isn't a movie, Father." I tell him quietly. "You can't put a limit on my life."

He glares down at me.

"Abigail, give up. The only reason why Lucy managed to survive was because she had Chris. You don't."

"I have Lucy…" Even to my ears, my words sound pathetic. Father laughs, a harsh, guttural sound.

"Lucy has a life without you. You don't have a life without me. I'll return for you Abby. You'll realise that you don't belong here."

With that he turns around and walks off, looking to the world like a law-abiding citizen. I sit back on the curb.

Now I realise that I never really knew Father. I always thought that he was all action and no words. But now I realise that his words are so much more frightening than his slaps and blows. I cannot tell anyone about him – I cannot! I would be putting them in so much danger and I would be putting myself in even more danger. And besides…

He is my father.

Simple as that – he is my father. I cannot betray him. Mother didn't; Lucy didn't. How can I?

I stand up slowly and walk along the road, kicking up droplets of water in puddles as I go. I walk in the rain as my feet take me where they wish to go.

I look around. I am standing in the park, under the tree where Jeremy and I –

No, don't think about it. It won't do any good.

I sit under the tree, leaning against its trunk. Its thick, leafy fronds shelter me from anyone outside my green haven. It is so easy to believe that I am living in a different world. Oh, how I wish.

The leaves rustle as someone invades my world. I close my eyes and remain as still as possible, hunched up in a ball against the tree, silently waiting.

_Please don't let it be Father._

"Abby?"

I keep my eyes closed. I know that voice.

"Abby!"

I have to open my eyes now… please don't let it be him… please don't let it b-

"Jeremy!" His green eyes are centimetres from my face.

"What are you doing here?" We speak at the same time. He laughs easily. I don't. Soon, his laughter dies away into an awkward silence.

"I just felt like thinking." He says in answer to my question. "And yourself?"

"Same."

He looks at me, taking in my drenched clothing and my sodden hair.

"Why are you wet?" Jeremy asks me.

"Because it's raining." I reply drolly, turning away. I really don't want to talk to Jeremy, and for good reason too. I bend down and duck out under the tree's branches. Jeremy catches my arm.

"Abby, can't we at least be friends?" He begs me. I look scornfully at him.

"Why, don't you want me to spoil your perfect record?" He makes no answer, further infuriating me. "Look at me, Jeremy. This is who I am. _This is who I am_!"

I spread out my hands and spin in the rain. Jeremy catches me by the shoulders and draws me nearer. He looks into my eyes as I glare at him.

"What happened?" He asks, the question catching me unaware.

"What?" I ask, calm once more.

"Something's happened. What is it?"

I don't realise I am crying until the tears have made a pool at my feet. Similarly, I don't realise that Jeremy is hugging me until I feel his arms around me.

How long we stay like that, I do not know.

But when we finally draw apart, he looks down at me with such concern. Jeremy holds out his hand to me, and I take it.

"Home?" He asks.

"Home." I agree.

We walk from the park together.

If only I had looked behind us.

If only.


	8. Chapter 8

**D: Don't own TLM. **

**A/N: Yes, this is rather choppy... it's meant to be. I think. :D **

**Chapter 8**

"Abby, they're saying the most horrible things about you!" Christine runs up to me the next day. I freeze.

"What… are they saying?" I mumble.

"That your father is a drunk alcoholic and that he's going to beat Jeremy up!" Christine pauses to take a breath. "It's not true, is it, Abby?"

"Who… did you hear this from?" I ask through gritted teeth.

"Jeremy himself!" Christine replies. "Abby, are you alright?"

But I am gone. I run down the hallway to Jeremy's locker. A large crowd is gathered there. They part for me until I am standing right in front of Jeremy.

"May I speak to you in private, Jeremy?" I ask, trying to repress my feelings. The crowd gives a loud and immature _ooh_, but Jeremy shrugs, avoiding my accusing gaze.

"Sure, I guess."

He follows me outside.

"Jeremy, what on _earth _is this about?" I demand to know. Jeremy pushes his hair from his eyes and continues to avoid my gaze.

"Yesterday after I'd dropped you home a man came up to me. Said he was your father and that he would beat me up if I ever went near you again."

My jaw drops. I cannot _believe _Father would stoop so low – for it was almost _certainly_ Father. Jeremy grabs my arm.

"I'm _sorry_, Abby, but I really don't think this'll work out." He leaves and I'm left there standing.

The day passes in a haze of jeers and whispers. I am alone in the crowd – only Christine stands by me, and even then, she avoids my gaze. I cannot stand it. I just cannot stand it. I go home early. Lucy picks me up, her gaze probing and questioning, but I do not speak to her.

_Three days._

I stay in my room and snap at my nieces when they poke their heads in to visit. I'm sorry for that now. I always will be – til the end of time. I go to bed.

_Three days._

The next morning is hardly any better. I go to school this time and last the whole day. Everyone – including Chris – edges nervously around me. I have my own space wherever I go. That's supposed to be a good thing, right? It isn't. And on top of that, sometime during the day – for the hours all merge into one - I see Jeremy walking with a short, blonde girl. At least he's moved on.

_Three days._

Father was right. I don't have a life here. But I don't want to go back to him either. I want to stay, frozen in time forever. There's only one way to do it.

It's so cold.

I'm so scared.

Lucy's worried about me. I hear her talking to Chris at night. They are considering sending me to a hospital. But then Chris always moans about the cost and that question is left unanswered.

I'm a burden.

Nothing more; a lot less. I don't want to be a burden anymore. Now that I close my eyes to think, I realise that I've never belonged anywhere. Not with Father; not with Lucy.

Not with Jeremy.

So I sit down and I write. I write of the events that have brought me to this moment. I know I could go so much deeper – I could speak of Mother, of _her _pain. But Lucy can do that. She knew Mother better than I did. She doesn't know what has happened since she left. She hardly knows what has happened since I came to live with her.

Perhaps if I were older this might be different. Perhaps I wouldn't be like this. I would be independent; I would be free. But the fact remains that I am a teenager – a child. I have nothing and no one in the world. I cannot support myself and I cannot live by myself. It's either this way or the other.

I don't want to choose.

_Three days._

I put down my pen and sigh. There's so much about life that I don't know about. There's so much about life I do. I don't want to know any longer. I can't take it in. I can't cope.

_Three days._

I fiddle with the corner of my skirt. Through the window and the rain I can see the river. It winds neatly in and out of the town glistening and sparkling. I turn my face away and re-read my paper.

I lie back in bed and wait for the third day to come.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do not own _TLM_. **

**Chapter 9 **

_**Christine's PoV of the previous chapter:**_

As I walk into school I sense that something is vaguely wrong. There are whispers filling the corridors and surreptitious glances thrown my way. I avoid everyone until I find my friends.

"Guys," I ask my friends. "What's up?"

They look at each other, and I feel a twinge of annoyance at being kept in the dark. But then Lisa speaks.

"Erm, you know the girl that you were hanging out with?" She begins. I nod slowly.

"Abby. She's new. I'm just looking after her." I say defensively. Somehow I know that whatever's coming isn't going to be good. Hey, a girl's got to protect herself first, right?

"Yeah, whatever." Katrina cuts in. "You've been spending a whole lot more time with her than us."

"She's _new_." I protest. "And she has no one in the school but Jeremy and me!"

They exchange dark glances.

"You mean she _had _Jeremy." Lisa says grimly. I remember in a flash that they'd jus broken up.

"Yes, well, they've reached a little bump in the road… they'll mend it." I speak with a lot more confidence than I feel.

"Er … no." Katrina retorts coolly. "Jeremy said that her father threatened him. Her father's nothing but a violent alcoholic." The words are venomous and they aim to sting. I gasp and wheel around.

"Where are you going?" Daria calls after me.

"To find Jeremy!" I yell back.

I find him at his locker in the midst of a crowd of guys.

"Jeremy, we have to talk." I grab his arm and pull him away from them amid loud suggestive calls. He lets me pull him away, even having the cheek to look slightly amused.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"Abby!" I say fiercely. "Why are you saying this about her father?"

Jeremy sticks his chin out defiantly.

"Because it's true." He replies stiffly.

"But why tell everyone?" I ask helplessly because I can see that he believes it to be true. "You love her, Jer."

"No…" He sighs heavily. "I thought I loved her. But I do not love her more than a sister, or a friend perhaps. And I will not risk my _life _for someone I do not love. Her father is mad, Chris, _mad._"

I sigh and step away from him.

"I don't know Jer."

He reaches out and pulls me towards him. I hug him, drawing in his strength. He kisses the top of my head.

"You know, I think it was you I loved all this time." Jeremy says softly

"It was not you I ever looked for." I breathe.

"Neither."

"Yet you came." I look up at him and see the love shining in his eyes. He leans down to kiss me, but I cannot. "I'm sorry, Jer… I can't do this to Abby. I have to find out what she says first."

I run up to Abby as she walks in, her eyes shadowed and puffy. I feel a twinge of pity for her, but I quash that quickly.

"Abby, they're saying the most horrible things about you!" I exclaim. Best to play the part of the concerned friend.

"What… are they saying?" She mutters disinterestedly.

"That your father is a drunk alcoholic and that he's going to beat Jeremy up!" I tell her. "It's not true, is it, Abby?"

She has gone pale. I guess it is true after all.

"Who… did you hear this from?" She asks faintly.

"Jeremy himself!" I reply, feeling a stab of guilt as I watch her face go even whiter. "Abby, are you alright?" I ask, concerned. Abby looks at me for a fleeting moment, then flees. I watch her running down the corridor and can't help wondering what that girl is running from.

I walk with Abby for the rest of the day, just because she thought I was her friend.

Am I?

--------------------------

The next day, Abby is even more distant and quiet than ever. I walk with her for the first three sessions, then when silence grows too profound for me, I leave her for Jeremy.

He is walking in the corridors with a short blond girl, and I glare at him. He smiles back at me easily.

"Hey 'Tine." Jeremy greets me. "Meet my friend, Janice. She's visiting from my hometown."

The girl looks up at him.

"I'm his girlfriend."

I back away; repulsed at the way she is looking at him. Flicking a cool gaze up to Jeremy, I search his face. He shrugs. Is that a flicker of regret in his eyes? So much for his nice guy reputation, I guess. I turn and leave.

"Nice meeting you, Janice." I call over my shoulder.

And I go in search of my friends, because only they can console me now.

Sorry, Abby.

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**A/N: **

Thank you to **Oneday Someday, embracing, svelte, drugged-on-chocolate, Mirage of Sarabi, SarahE7191 and MoonArisa. **I have already written half of chapter 10, so it shouldn't be too long in coming. Meanwhile...keep the reviews coming:P 


	10. Chapter 10

**I don't own the Little Mermaid.**

**Chapter 10**

The third day comes and I am ready for it. Or so I'd like to pretend. I go through my normal routine: get dressed, have breakfast, go to school. But on the way out, Lucy stops me.

"Abby …" She speaks to me hesitantly. "Abby … Chris and I have been talking…"

She looks so horribly uncomfortable that I subconsciously wince in her stead. I wait. She waits. I decide to help her out.

"You and Chris were talking?" I prompt her kindly. Lucy nodded.

"We were wondering if it were best that you went to see the doctor."

Blink.

"I'm … not … sick … Luce." I tell her slowly and clearly, as though speaking to a toddler. Lucy fidgets and looks away.

"Yes … well, it's not an ordinary doctor, Abby dear. It's a psychiatrist."

Hang on, WHAT?

I back away from Lucy and out the door.

"Don't look at me like that, Abby." She pleads. "Chris thinks it's best!"

I continue to back away from my sister, as if I have never seen her before... which I haven't. Not in the truest sense of the phrase.

"Chris … isn't a parent." I tell her emptily. Lucy rests her head on the doorframe in despair.

"Yes, but while you live with us, you are his responsibility as well as mine!"

Then let it be so.

I turn around and start walking. Away from this place. I just have to get out of here. When I glance back Lucy has turned around and gone inside.

_Goodbye_.

--------------------------------------------------------------

The water gleams invitingly from under the bridge. I stare down at it, silently mourning everything I have lost. _Mother … Christine … Jeremy? _No, not Jeremy, but what he represented: Love.

There are some hearts that never mend again after they have been broken. Or if they do mend, they mend crookedly, as though stitched together by a careless craftsman. It is those hearts, which are condemned to wander through the light and the dark, never actually belonging to either.

I don't want to be like that.

I can feel my heart breaking within me, and as I stand on the ledge of the bridge, gazing at the water, I turn my head backwards to observe the city behind me.

"I forgive you, Father." I whisper, because that is the only way that I can stop my heart from shattering into a million pieces. "Thank you, Christine." I continue, because for all she has done, she has been my friend. "I loved you, Jeremy." I smile, because that is all that I have left to do."

Water is rain; rain is water. Mother and I, we never belonged here. We belonged out there with the water and the waves and the foam. We were fools for trying. But even the wisest men are fools when it comes to love and living. We are all scared of death.

I look down at the water again.

I don't go to death. I go to Mother.

"I come, Mother. At last, I come."

The air seems to burn as I fall from the bridge … and my feet feel cool relief as it enters the water.

_On the third day… it was finished. _

_**The End.**_

-----------------------------

Thank you to everyone who has stuck with this story, I really appreciate it. I love you all.

Ever yours,

Sardine.


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